Ahh Christmas Day, it's a rather emo day tho. =( Had the chance to meet up with some old friends today, friends, hmmm i wonder if i even get to call them that. I guess it kinda sucks that some unpleasant stuff happened and people leave the clique and you dont get to see them often anymore.
That's where a huge load of extra effort is needed to maintain the friendships and i know i've not put in any. Shame on me. I'm terribad at this kind of social thing, no thanks to my introvert personality and i'm not trying hard enough or rather trying at all to change this. Pathetic isn't it?
Free will. God gave us that. The choice of doing certain things or not. Looking at my friend who fell away from God and change so much within a year, i can't help but feel guilty for not stepping in early enough to stop him, to listen to him, to pray along with him. I could never accept the there's-nothing-you-could-have-done consolation because somehow somewhere i know i could've done something. Man, this sucks.
You know, maybe what i really need right now is somebody to come right up to me and say, "you screwed up, you've let people down, now go and change your %$@*& attitude."
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